The intentional motivation to love one another is no doubt the foundation of marriage. Your wedding day is a picture of those intentions in the purest form. Vows are your verbal commitment, a marriage licensee legally binds you, and rings serve as a daily reminder of the promise you’ve made to each other. But what keeps us going?
In our pre-marital counseling sessions, we were warned that first comes love… then marriage… and then well, a lot of stuff. Not all bad but definitely not all as happy as the sweet season leading up to your wedding day. With such a high divorce rate in our nation, we knew that we had to prepare for whatever satan would try our marriage with. We know the world is against us. The battle of sin finds its way into not only our own hearts but also into our spouses’ as well.
There are a million things that people can do to improve their marriage from the beginning, but these are specific to us. Every couples’ needs are different. We are proud to say that we have stuck with these habits since day one and don’t have any intentions of backing down. Naming them out loud has helped immensely because we have been able to hold each other accountable throughout the process.
Enjoy reading about a couple of things that have already helped our marriage to be more fruitful. We are super passionate about these because we can see the impact it has had on our lives even after our short time being married.
No phones in our bed…. ever
We don’t ever allow phones to interrupt that precious few minutes of the day where we are chatting, snuggling and eventually falling asleep. Not having phones has not only brought us closer, it has kept us from ending our days looking at social media. Instead we get to look at each other :)
Eat dinner together
I know this is easier for some people than others but for us, this is where we get to laugh about things that happened that day… share our hearts & just stay connected. We love to eat too!
Go to bed and wake up together at the same time
Obviously schedules and work differences can prevent this from being a thing for some couples but for us it works well. We love starting and ending every day together. I used to be a late nighter but going to bed around 10 o’clock when Griffin does has been a blessing to our relationship for sure.
Work out together
Aside from how hott he looks when he’s lifting heavy stuff, I love working out with Griffin because it keeps me going to the gym. It keeps me motivated and accountable for staying physically fit. If it weren’t for him, I would EASILY fall out of shape… for sure. Ever since I started working out regularly in 2018, I feel better inside & out. I feel more confident and healthy. Kudos to Griffin for helping me fall in love with Crossfit and all things functional fitness.
Have budget meetings & tithe together
We all know money can destroy a relationship. It’s so incredibly powerful. Small disagreements about spending habits can ultimately drive two people apart for good. But being on the same page is what keeps us from fighting about money. We have nothing to fight about because every month we decide, side by side, what every dollar is going towards. Tithing and allocating money to give back to the Lord is also something we started doing together. It’s amazing to see how our creator works all things together for His good when we trust him with our finances.
Learn each other’s love language and incorporate it into your relationship
Griffin and I know each other’s love languages and boy am I glad we do! A few years ago we took the love languages quiz and I am so glad we did! I am a “words of encouragement” lover and Griffin is a quality time person. I value a sweet love letter while Griffin loves for me to sit & watch a football game with him! Take the quiz here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
Read the Bible to each other
There’s a million reasons why reading the Bible is something we should all be doing but in marriage, it’s even more fruitful. Reading it together not only holds you accountable to read daily, but it keeps your faith walk in tact. Hebrews 4:12 says: “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” When we read the Bible on our own, God speaks to our hearts. His word helps to reveal deep, meaningful things about you to yourself. When you read the Bible together, your spouse is able to learn all these intimate and personal things about you, too. I love mornings where Griffin reads to me while I eat my breakfast. I get to start the day with my two favorite guys, Griffin & Jesus.
Establish roles and live them out
I do most of anything that involves cleaning & I expect Griffin to do all of the what I like to call “numbers” stuff. He types up the budget, pays the bills and keeps me from having to any math… which I hate more than anything else. This keeps me from getting upset with him over silly things like the laundry not being done because I know that that’s my responsibility to finish. Someone told us before we got married to do this and I love knowing that in return for cleaning, I never have to deal with what Griffin is so great at: MATH!
Always choose your battles
My sister taught me this in my first month of marriage and I’m so glad she did. Such a simple concept but often forgotten. This is such a practical reminder that prevents me from ever becoming a nagging wife. Instead, choose love. Choose to accentuate the positives in your spouse rather than constantly focusing on the negative. Because love covers over a multitude of sins. We are not perfect & neither are those we live with. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8
I hope you & your spouse can benefit from one or a few of these simple habits. I’ll end with one of my favorite marriage quotes:
“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”
-Burton Howard
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